Our endgame differs. Not each one are the same.
Everyone has their own paths. Their own struggles. Their own trials and tribulations. What matters most is not where you are at the moment; it’s where you will be in the future.
The endgame. The conclusion. The finale. The ending.
What we makes of today, will shape our tomorrows.
So here’s for a great one, to each one of us.
This is a simple post.
I’ve soared. I’ve climbed. I’ve been burned. I’ve challenged myself. I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone. But I came back stronger.
The truth of the matter is, you might not know where you’re heading. Nor where you are at the moment. But that’s okay. That’s completely okay.
Because sometimes, the universe, and God, will work something out. You’ll soar. Just like you’re always meant to be.
Photos are of me on the recent trip to Mount Raung and Kawah Ijen. Never in a million years I thought I’d go there. Heck, I’ve even almost on the verge of cancelling, but I’m glad I did go on that trip. Turned out to be just what I need.
So, soar you must. And afraid, you shall not. 
Trials and tribulations do not define use. Months and years of hardships do not define us.
Who we become once those is over — does.
Each one of us is fighting his/ her own battle. Be it putting food on the table, finding that perfect someone, dealing with difficult situations, fighting life-threatening illness, etc.
After all, we are all a fighter. We stand tall. We rise above than the difficulties. And we say, “Not today!”
Granted, not anyone would have the same courage to face these obstacles. Many would just wave their white flags. Many would just find the easy way out.
But for those resilient ones, well, they fight through whatever life thrown at them. Making the best lemonades out of the lemon.
This too, shall pass. These uncertainties, these long waiting game, these unknowns, these trials, these difficulties, these obstacles — it’ll serve as great life lessons. One which we would look back and say, “Hey, I beat that. Look at me know. I’m stronger because of it.”
Coming full circle, again, we are all a fighter on our own term. It doesn’t matter how slow we go, what’s he approach we take to overcome these challenges — so long as we don’t give and keep pushing on, that’s what we are; a fighter.
So here’s to each one of us. We are beautiful in every way. And we will keep on fighting, till we get that sweet taste of victorious wins. 
Credit: Google Image & Beau Taplin for the words.
The year started off great. I was looking forward to what 2019 has to offer. The future was . . . unpredictable. Unknown. Full of possibilities.
Then came the news. It was unpredictable alright. My contract at this current company I am attached at, will not be renewed. To top it all off, the new company that’s supposedly hire me, well, let’s just say, there are a lot more cons than pros, upon doing the comparison. And I may not be taking that offer anyway.
All these happens in not even two weeks into the new year. Lol.
Well, I may not have it all figure out at the moment. What’s my next step. What will I be doing with my life. How the future will pans out for me. And all these uncertainties that others (and I myself, at times), might have.
But I do know one thing. I have my self-worth. Something I take pride in. I know that I deserve better. At 30 years old, I have been through so much. And with those life and working experiences under my belt, I know that I am worth much more that what I give myself credit to.
Granted, I may not be as successful compared to other people. I may still be finding my ways out in this world. Heck, I am currently still living with my mother.
But when it comes down to it, I know I’m good at what I do. That is, communicating to people. Understand them. Being positive. And I won’t change who I am, just because the situation forced me to. Not to say I’m not adaptable, but, coming full circle to the subject of this post, the self-worth. I have that.
I believe in my capability. I believe I can make it through. I am worth everything in this world.
I’ve been through hell and back. And I am perfectly imperfect, in any way I am. And I am okay with it. I accept it, and just live my life, the way I want to.
After all, Mark Twain once said:
The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.
Now I still am clueless as to where this year – the following 20, 30 years — have in store for me. But I’m sure it’s going to be alright.
After all, life is meant to be living. Based on your own merits, learning from your own mistakes, reaping what you yourself sow, and not forgetting, realizing your own self-worth and being okay with it.
So, cheers! All is not lost in the world.
We’ve all been there. Trying to dust it all off. Trying to move forward. Trying our hands at different things. Hoping that with the new beginnings, there will be another light. Another opportunity. Another chance to start all over — leave the past, and hope for the best in the future.
Now, I was reading my last entry, which was on July 2018. So much has happened. Well, I am still the same old me. (I am bald currently, yes. But that’s not the point here)
A few days left to 2019. I realized, I might not “make” it, in term of position. Or financial stability. Or marriage life. Phew. The list sure goes on.
But one thing I am grateful though. Each year, I’ve grown. I’ve been to places. I’ve accomplished things that I am proud of. I’ve made new friends, while keeping in touch with a few close ones.
I’ve done all that, and it’s achievements for me. All of that. Heading to 2019, there’s a possibility that I will change to yet another job. The prospect is inviting though. Somewhere in medical field, but I will still be doing communication.
Now interviewers, and others, might ask me from time to time. Why communication?
My heart and mind is dying to answer — why not? But, in a diplomatic way, my answer would always be, “I gave it a shot, and I love it.” “Communication is an integral part of our daily lives”.
Telling people that, over and over again, made myself believing in it. And lo and behold. I am now about to enter my 30s. With no uncertainty. But one thing I’m sure, I like doing communication, and I’m quite good at it.
Okay, now I’m just getting sidetrack.
So, new beginnings. What is it about? I can’t quite look into my future. Where I will be one year, or ten years from now. No one can. Would be good if we can, so we chart our course in life. Make that decision that will benefits us in a long run.
I can’t though. But, I can look back at where I was a year before. Things changed. I’ve grown. I’ve engrossed in new hobbies. I’ve achieved various personal achievements. So that’s good.
So yeah. New beginnings are uncertain. We fear the unknown, that’s what make men, well, men. But despite all that, there’s some sweetness in it. Some thrill. Exhilaration. To go into the known. To dive right in. And to experience all of it firsthand.
Just this morning, I’ve managed to climb a hill. Granted, it’s only 280 meters. Nothing to shout about. But, the fact that I did, without having any known friend (and make friends there instead), with my only experience being climbing the Broga Hill, some 6 years back. Well, that’s definitely a record in my book. 
I now sure look ahead for 2019. Lots of runs to join, as of this year. And in April (my birth month, nonetheless), I will hike a mountain in Surabaya, Indonesia.
So yes. The prospect is endless. It’s exciting. It’s scary. It’s surreal. But above all, we just need to remind ourselves, time and again, it’s going to be all good.
There’s that saying that I learn today while watching Bumblebee,
“Darkest nights always produce the brightest stars ✨ “
Which is what we are all are. We are the brightest stars. We’ve gone through hell and back. And we shine, brighter than ever.
So here’s to new beginnings. Not just for the year ahead, but for each things that God has in store for us all.
New beginnings, we’re coming atcha.
It’s the first day of July 2018.
A few months before the 2018 will leave us all. I landed yet another new opportunity. This time around, it’s in an oil and gas company.
Granted, it’s a contract position which will last for seven months — until 31 January 2019. After that, we’ll, it’s an unknown future, yet again, for me.
I don’t know what the future holds at this new organization, nor that I know if I could survive being there. But, it’ll be the road not taken of mine, if I didn’t give this a try.
Hence, tomorrow will be my first day being there. You’d think that after having so many jobs under my belt, that it’d get easier. And I’d be able to just go there, and demonstrate my skills. But, butterflies are still fluttering in my stomach as I don’t know what really to expect.
I did give myself some pep talk though. To not overthink it. And that everything will go swimmingly. After all, this is a choice that I have made, two months back. So perhaps, it will be different. But I’m gonna make the best out of it.
And for what it’s worth, looking back at the past one year, I can proudly say to myself that “Hey. I’ve done construction before. Even more, it is a national project and God knows it ain’t easy. But at least I’ve done it.”
So yeah. This is me, going into the unknown. But a voice deep inside me, still whispers, that I’d do great. The fact that I landed the opportunity itself show it right? And hey, even if it doesn’t work out, I can always look back and say, “I’ve entered yet another field — oil and gas”.
So here’s wishing the best, to me, and to us all. May the rest of 2018 will be a time to remember with countless blessing and successes ahead. 👌🏻
Change is always scary.
To venture into the unknown. To leave all those that you’ve come to know. To take a leap of faiths and hope that everything will turn out alright.
Perhaps, the best is yet to come. With such changes, well, maybe by then, we’d be able to move forward. To live the life that we’ve always wanted. To really living. Living and not caring about others. Their expectations. Their standard ways of defining success.
Perhaps it’s good to turn a new leaf. Grass is not always greener on the other side. But, hey, at least the other side is where you’ll be. Rather than just wondering, and never take that leap of faith.
So here’s to all of us who’s willing to take that steps to accept the changes and just be okay with what it’ll bring.
Xo.
It’s the last moments of 2017 and in a short while, the new year will come. As always, there’d be New Year’s resolutions being made, wishes being shared, hopes and dreams being highlighted . . . All these, and reflections on what the past 365 days had bring upon to all of us. As for me, well, this year had marked quite an achievement for myself.
Career-wise
I started the year working as an executive where, well, despite the stability, I don’t see myself growing as much with the company. And now, well, I can pretty much say that I’m climbing that corporate ladder – I’ve been appointed and started working as a Senior Executive at a construction company. It’s a stressful job, one where I’d always complained about. However, I know, if I just push myself harder, I can realize my full potentials.
Health-wise
Despite having to go for a regular checkup every now and then, I’m glad that I can still be able to wake up everyday, breathing and thankful for this healthy body. I even become highly engrossed in running — as it’s really the only sport that I know I get a hang of — so much so that starting November, I’ve joined by very first Half Marathon. The same month also marks the second Half Marathon I joined. God knows I felt like quitting, but I pushed my limits and eventually end the runs.
So yeah, despite the time recorded, I’ve actually been really proud of myself. At least I can cross that out of my list.
Mid 2017 also noted that that my cholesterol level had slightly increased. However, when I last went to the doctor’s appointment, that’s no longer the case.
Financial-wise
God knows I’m one of the free-spirit people who’d just take things one step at a time, and just go with the flows — despite whatever life throws at me. And, yeah, my new job came with new responsibility and expectations from others, sleepless nights and longer commuting period — to name a few. But it also can game with it good pays.
So, let this post be a reminder for myself, to start saving even more for rainy days in times to come. I’ve also been able to purchase a house, sometimes in mid 2017.
Now the process is taking what seems like a million years, however, I’m glad I took the steps. And I’m glad my mother was there to help me out.
Relationship-wise
Of course, I’ve been single my whole life and I’m totally fine with it. I don’t doubt that seeing people together, every now and then, I do have the feelings that I’d want the same thing for myself. However, I guess my time hasn’t come just yet. Till then, I’m happy to say that I’m keeping a few good friends close, keeping in contacts with my former colleagues, as well as strengthening the ties with my mother and relatives — this year, stronger than ever.
December also marked the time where, as it’s always are, people got married. This time, a close friend of mine did, and it eventually allowed my former Diploma classmates and I, a chance to catch up and made amends.
So yeah, having said all these, I’ve definitely think that this year, although it started pretty bleak, it ended pretty well. I just wish the momentum will stay and I’d be able to just savor what life has to offer, and to always be thankful for everything that I have at the moment — all in the same time.
Now, for 2018 resolutions, as per last year, and even years before that, I do not necessarily have one. But if I do have to list it, for the sake of me going through it and as a tracker, here’s a few ideas:
1. Once a month, to join a Half Marathon/ a Running event of some sort. Beginning tomorrow, where I’ll be joining KL New Year Run 2018.
2. To keep a healthy body. To do that, I’ve to at least spend 30 minutes, every three days (at least) for some sort of physical fitness activities.
3. To just be myself, despite what others would think of me, and to not let work get the best of me. I’m not getting any younger. Hence, this is a much needed thing for me to do.
4. To go traveling, at least two times in 2018. One in the first half of the year, and another in the second half. Locations? Well, anywhere but KL.
5. To expedite the process of getting the house – mortgage, loan processing and what’s not. The earlier I could stay by myself at a place I can call my own, the better I’d feel about it.
I guess, as of right now, these are all I could think about. Perhaps I’d be able to achieve some of it, perhaps none of it, but, at least I’ve what people usually call, goals/ aims in life.
Well, here’s to a great year ahead. May all the blessings and happiness will be granted to us. And may we’d become a much better and positive person than the year before. ☺️👌🏻
Each day, towards the end of our interaction with others, we’d be bidding our goodbyes. Whether it is to our dear colleagues upon leaving the office, our partners after a wonderful (or not so wonderful dates), friends whom we meet up for coffee sessions, some shop assistants when we go to buy groceries or home appliances, children we read and say goodnight to, and various other interactions. (more…)
ashrafhafizuddin 